So sorry I haven’t posted in awhile! I spent the past two weeks moving across country from Chicago to Alexandria, VA. It was expensive, time-consuming, and a bit stressful to say the least. But, I’m happy. I am closer to all the people that matter most to me- my family and close friends. However, I will miss Chicago; I spent six great years there. I grew professionally, got a Master’s Degree, and met AMAZING PEOPLE!. I also lost a lot of weight I left Chi City with a bang!
Even with all the stress and short bouts of instability that comes from moving; I did not gain weight. I made good food decisions on the road and I have already found three nearby grocery stores with plenty of organic and gourmet choices. I am a picky cook!
Today I decided to run some errands before I hit the gym. I discovered the TJ Maxx around the corner form my house and was in heaven! I’ve been waiting to put this new bod of mine in a few new pieces. Nothing major, just at least a new pair of jeans. Now when I started my weight loss journey I was a size 22 teetering on a 24 in Jeans. I was a big girl. 75 pounds later I’m a 14 maybe and 16 baby. Now my issue with this is that I somehow thought 75 pounds would equal a dramatic size shift! Like I’d be a size 10 or something lol. I see so many women on blogs talking about they lose a dress size every 10 or 15 pounds….ummmmmm by those standards I should be at least a 12!!!!!
I look so different and great in my clothes, but the moment I had in the dressing room today when the 14 Levi’s only fit if I decided to give up breathing and ever drying them; I was sad and ungrateful. It was if I never lost any weight; The Devil is a LIAR!!!! I refuse to live my life like that.
If I wear a 16 in jeans and a 14 in dresses and skirts….I’m GRATEFUL. How dare I get so caught up on a clothing tag? If it fits and I look great and healthy, why would I torment myself like that? That’s not love; and I’m determined to love Akela. So I’m going to pause right now and apologize to her.
I’m so sorry Akela for not respecting your beauty and awesomeness earlier. I know I will never fully grasp and live up to your your wondrous power-because the God in you is so great; but I promise each day to try a little harder to do so. I’m sorry I let extrinsic forces and people determine how you should feel about the way you look. No one in the world knows you like I do,so how can they tell you what you should look like? I gave away personal power to people and ideas that could not handle the responsibility They didn’t even want it-they just shared their thoughts- and that’s what people do; talk. I need to learn to let them talk without me feeling the need to respond with an action. I’ll never abandon you again; and whenever you’re ready to drop a size in Levi’s Jeans-I’ll be ready No pressure!